A Few Weeks In.

I’m not sure what I expected, so I’m not sure what I should feel right now. But I’ve been here over two weeks and there’s so much to take in.

A couple days after arriving, the students arrived for the TIP session. These ‘students’ are a primary, junior, or senior high school English teachers with a few high school students thrown in the mix. I wasn’t sure what would follow, but the 52 students arrived and we introduced ourselves to the group the first night. In the days to follow, I observed all of the classes and basically followed the students to learn from the current facilitators (my co-workers). After several days of watching, I began teaching a couple classes a day. In the course of the 2 weeks, I taught PE many times, reading time several times, a culture club on American food and manners, a fairy tale class on Sleeping Beauty, a 2 hour class on dreams, graded the students’ 7 minute speeches, helped with their practicum (teaching a lesson using the methods they learned during the session), and grading the lessons they created as they taught them. I was only nervous 2 times that whole time, once from pressure I felt because I’m not an experienced teacher, and once from being so so much younger than these students yet being their teacher/facilitator.

It has been a struggle to figure out where I fit in, what my role is, what’s expected of me, but I’m learning to continue being flexible and learning to be optimistic. It’s not always easy, but I believe it will help me overcome the bumps that there have been.

I’ve gotten to know a few of my co-workers. There’s a retired couple who are incredibly sweet. They’re like grandparents who spoil me like crazy, as well as introduce me to some people who are actually near my age in a Bi bl e study. I have gotten to spend time with a couple and I look forward to getting to know them more! Unfortunately the older couple leaves in a week and a half, so I hope there are some new facilitators coming that can become good friends.

The students were so grateful and so sweet. They really noticed a difference in the facilitators because they are kind and loving and truly care about the students. There were some bumps with rules, but it was so good to meet all of them and get a small taste of their stories.

Hopefully when things slow down and I have some free time I’ll be able to visit the student’s who have invited me to their hometown. They are so hospitable. I got to have Mongolian milk tea with some of the students from Inner Mongolia (along with a few of the facilitators) and it was an incredible experience. They showed me how to make it and gave us some Mongolian cheese (very very different from cheese people eat in America) to try. They also gave me a blue silk scarf they use for festivals, a little wooden bowl you drink milk tea with, and a mirror with a Mongolian lady on it.
I've gotten to have some deep sp iritual conversation with several people, amazed at the trust built in just a few weeks.

Overall it has been a good first few weeks. Yes, there are bumps and hard things, but I’m glad I’m here.

More updates to come (and maybe a highlight reel so far).

Faith

How silly it is.

It’s amazing how much faith I have.

It’s amazing how little faith I have.

I stepped onto this plane without a doubt in my mind.

What massive amounts of faith that takes.

I trusted the aircraft, that it was of good construction, the pilot, that he would take us to the final destination.

I didn’t think twice about my safety, not thinking of crashes or what any of those strangers could do to me.

I put trust in the stewardess, that the food she put down wasn’t poisoned, I trusted the seat would hold me without hesitation.

I trusted the light would come on when I flipped it, that this pen would work when I clicked it.

I had faith that someone would be there to pick me up, had faith that my luggage wouldn’t get stuck.

I trusted the airline to have the right cabin pressure, that the outside pressure wouldn’t crush or rip apart this bird and everything in her.

I had faith the toilet would flush, that the sink would turn on and clean water would gush.

I had faith the books I were reading were true, not full of lies, that when I put my glasses on they would correct my bad eyes.

I had faith there’d be enough oxygen when I breathe, and the amazing thing is all that’s done intrinsically.

Not a conscious thought given, its become second nature.

Why do I have faith in these things when I have no reason to believe?

The plane could go down, the pilot get lost, never to be found.

I could die right now, the strangers harm me (and who knows how).

The stewardess could be careless and the food make me sick, the seat could break or the seat belt never click.

The light could be broken, the pen broken, too. I could be left stranded without luggage or a clue what to do.

I could be suffocated on the inside, or crushed from without, the toilet work in reverse or water refuse to come from the spout.

The authors could be liars and my glasses break, I could be slowly dying with each breath that I take.

The funny thing is that list could go on forever, but the reality is those thoughts never entered.

Maybe for a moment, but my faith quickly pushed them away. What strong faith, wouldn’t you say?

No, that’s just silly, that doesn’t take faith. But I’m beginning to think it does, and a faith so great.

My question is simply a recent thought, why can I trust in those things yet doubt the reality of God?

Here we go.

Tomorrow begins a new chapter. A step forward. A new end. And a new beginning. It finally hit me yesterday as I drove to meet a friend for the last time. In the grand scheme of things it isn’t a long time, but in my limited understanding of time it seems very long.  I know it will be a bumpy road, but a beautiful one. I pray that God works through my weakness, for I know I am ill-prepared. And because I know that, whatever strength and joy I have will be turned back to thanksgiving. May the Lord prepare the path before me, giving opportunity, boldness, patience, perseverance, joy, and a deep deep love that could never come from my weak self. I commit this year to God, the struggles and the triumphs, the joys and the homesickness, the valleys and mountains. May he be glorified through this earthen vessel.

Dear China

A year and a half ago I had the pleasure of scratching the surface of your richness with my dear brother on an internship. Looking back, these were my reflections as I left.

China, 
I knew nothing about you when I got here. And I still know very little. But I'm so pleased to have made your acquaintance and I do hope one day we will meet again. You're full of adventures and cool people. You hold many opportunities in the palm of your hand. I've greatly enjoyed my time with you and the wonderful brother who knows you much better than I. I will miss you, but I will treasure the memories we have.
Laurel

I never would have guessed that I would be coming back. And for longer. To learn from your people. To grow in multifaceted ways. To learn to trust again. In a God who is greater than I can even fathom. You are full of surprises and the unexpected, so I guess these months leading up to my departure have, in a unique way, begun to prepare me for the great unpredictable unknown that inevitably lies in store. This time of preparation has been full of bumps and joys and valleys, but God is good and He’s growing me in so many ways. I hate failure, but I’m learning that I will inevitably fail, to at least some degree, during my stay on your soil. And that is okay.  Failure has the potential to be growth.

China, you are a giant mystery, full of surprises. In a few short days, I’ll be treading your soil once again, and who knows how I’ll come home in the end. But one thing I know, it’s a great of exercise of trust to walk boldly into the unknown.